Bisexuals Describe Differences of Dating Guys and Girls

Every comedian has a bit about how men and women are different, but only bisexuals (people who are attracted to both men and women) truly know the differences between the genders when it comes to having a relationship. This collection of the differences between men and women in dating was sourced from AskReddit, one of the best places to learn about a group of people, from that specific group. Whether you’re gay, straight, or bi, you’ll definitely want to keep reading to find out what the big difference between dating girls and guys is. And just so you know, it doesn’t have anything to do with body hair.

When it comes to relationships, you’d think it wouldn’t matter which gender you were pairing up with, and that most people are basically the same. Wrong. Careening back and forth between guys and girls can be fun, but it can also be a lot of work. There are all sorts of differences between going out with girls and guys, and the most important distinctions just might surprise you. Obviously the sex is completely different, but who do you think is clingier? And which gender do you think is the better kisser? For answers to these questions, and more, check out this list of the differences between girlfriends and boyfriends sourced from some helpful bisexuals who posted in AskReddit.

If you’re bisexual, vote up the biggest differences you think there are between dating guys and dating girls and feel free to tell everyone about some of your experiences in the comments.

1 Women are squishier.

“Men are harder.

No seriously. Women tend to be soft and squishy, and men tend to have less give.

You could never tell just by looking, I mean they both seem to have the same amount of fat.
But its a huge and consistent difference.

Definitely caught me off guard.”

2 People treat you differently when you switch it up.

“It wasn’t so much about difference between the people I was dating – I’m willing to chalk that up to the individuals, rather than their genitalia – but I would say that people who knew me with a boyfriend treated me differently than they did when I had a girlfriend, and vice versa.

It’s sort of like people would have been fine with me being straight and fine with me being a lesbian, but watching me switch from men to women and back again caused a sort of cognitive disconnect.

(I’d like to point out that I was never treated badly as a result of this. It was always just interesting to watch people do a double take when they met my new partner, especially because several of them have had gender-neutral names.)”

3 It’s easier to find guys to date.

“This probably isn’t surprising, but it’s a lot easier to find men to date as a female bisexual. With straight dudes, being bi is a more or less a plus (though that also comes with it’s own problems), with lesbians being bi is a pretty big minus. I haven’t dated another bi person, though, hopefully they’d be more chill with it than the rest!”

4 Women are better kissers.

“I’m female. The way girls kiss is staggeringly different from the way men kiss. I prefer to date men in terms of sexual compatibility, but Christ are women better kissers. Women are softer and more responsive to physical cues, where as men tend to be like, ‘This is what I’ve done before and no one ever said it sucked so I’ll keep doing it!'”

5 There’s less pressure when dating a guy.

“I’m a bi guy, I’ve dated both guys and girls, though at this point I’ve realized that I’m just overall much happier with women. I can’t connect with guys on an emotional or sexual level like I can with women.

Guys give much, much better blowjobs.

Girls are much, much better kissers.

Since there’s more ass involved with gay sex, the scent of butt no longer repels me – in some ways I’ve come to associate it with being about to get some.

There’s less pressure (real or imagined) to last longer in bed. Not that sex is always a quickie, but we both know that as long as we both orgasm – which is the case 99% of the time – we’ll be satisfied. I’ve reached this point of comfort in relationships with women as well, but it takes longer. I’ve found that it also takes longer to find out what gets a girl turned on. With guys you can just fiddle around with the penis for a bit and you’re good to go.

Much more preparation involved with gay sex. You need to have lube handy, and the state of one’s stomach/bowels can be a determining factor in whether or not you’re getting any. Though in retrospect this is similar to not having sex when a girl is on her period (though period sex never bothered me).

Similarly, gay sex involves more cleanup, because of lube and the occasional poo particle. A farticle, if you will. My dick just feels dirty after sex with a guy, whereas I don’t feel that way after sex with a girl.

But it also means I get to do butt stuff. 😉

…which means that guys don’t get all weird when it comes to the butthole. A lot of girls I’ve been with have had hangups about that, which I’ve never totally understood.

Less focus on foreplay with guys.

There’s less pressure (real or imagined) to provide for a guy. In relationships with women I’ve usually split things evenly as well, but there’s more of a natural inclination to pay for shit.

There’s no designated bug killer when dating guys.

When on dates with another man, there’s a little bit of self-consciousness in regards to little things like holding hands. We’d still do it anyway, but it’s otherizing a bit. Society has progressed a lot, but not completely.

Flirting with girls turns me on much more than flirting with guys.

I’ve found guys to be less sensitive to my emotional needs than women, but that could partially just be an individual difference with the people I’ve dated.”

6 Men are more emotionally confusing.

“Lesbian for 15 years, bisexual for the last year. Generally speaking:

Dating women:

Soft kisses, soft hugs, soft everything. Sex is more of a leisurely stroll through a park.Way easier to fall in love. The intimacy is intense when you’re both speaking the same emotional language. Oddly enough, it’s harder to have that first connection because women can be really passive and not show they’re interested. PMSx2 is just as fun as it sounds. More defensive, less cooperative.

Dating men:

Hard kisses, hard hugs, hard everything. Sex is more of a roller coaster. Figuring out what a guy wants emotionally when even he doesn’t want to admit/knows is nearly impossible without sabotaging the whole thing by seeming too ‘needy’. Figuring out what a guy wants physically is wonderfully easy. Less defensive, more cooperative.”

7 Men like to talk about themselves, women like to talk about other people.

“My experience comes as someone who is not much of a talker at all (to the point that it can frustrate people around me at times) but who is a hell of a listener. Even though the stereotype is that women are the big talkers, I’ve found that both genders love to talk when they feel they are really being listened to. The main difference I’ve found is that men love to talk about themselves and women love to talk about other people. I’m not sure one is worse/better than the other… men can pretty egotistical, but women can be quite nosy/ cruel and critical of others. This is actually the biggest difference I’ve consistently observed.”

8 Men are more vocal about experimenting in bed.

“Male bisexual here (yes, we do exist).

-Grinding against a guy the same way you grind against a woman (when you aren’t going for penetration) can have disastrous consequence when you poke the balls you forgot were there.

-Guys that I’ve been with have been more vocal about experimenting in bed. Not necessarily talking crazy, kinky stuff here. Think “new positions.” I think women are equally interested in experimenting, but I tend to have to initiate that conversation. The women I’ve been with have largely let me take the lead until they are more comfortable with me. Guys tend to get to the point sooner. I’m not sure which I prefer – it’s fun and exciting to have someone else initiate something new, but it can be unsettling if you don’t know the person well.

-A lady has never licked my butt and I don’t think one ever will and I am absolutely okay with that.

-When I’m with a guy, deciding who pays is always hilariously awkward for a minute. With a woman, at least it is almost never awkward to offer to pay.

-Woman are more mysterious to me. In general, I feel as if I can connect faster with a man than a woman, but when I take more time with women, the payoff of getting to know them generally results in better, longer, more intimate interactions. I don’t exactly know how to describe it, but even though it’s harder for me to emotionally connect with women, the connections tend to be stronger, deeper, and more mysterious. Mysteries can be really good things.

-Women tend to be much more aware of their surroundings, more cautious, and careful about people they are interacting with whom they don’t know well. Guys tend to be less worried about it, and more direct. I think of it as the difference of talking to a lady on Tinder vs. talking to a guy on Grindr (which, btw, is an app I do not use).

-With women, there is usually the possibility you can have biological children. With men, that possibility doesn’t exist. Even when you’re young, that thought is always floating in the back of your mind.”

9 There’s a difference between how you do your makeup for a girl and how you do it for a guy.

“Hi there, bisexual woman here.

-With women, everyone will assume you’re just best friends.

-Women tend to be more responsive to the subtleties in your body language during sex.

-With women, you really have to figure out your own relationship roles, since there’s no male-female roles that are preassigned. It was really weird when I dated a guy after dating a girl, because he assumed I would want to fill traditional roles. After ignoring those roles completely with my girlfriend, it was weird.

-With my girlfriends, I don’t feel the need to make sure my legs are 100% hairless. Because we get it, shaving every day is stupid.

-Wearing makeup for my boyfriend means highlighting my best features to look hot. Wearing makeup for my girlfriend means trying new things, because she’ll notice the more subtle things and appreciate the wilder stuff.”

10 Women have a higher libido.

“Female here – this is going to be surprising I think but I’ve found that all the women I’ve been with have had a generally higher libido and are willing to be a little more pushy about it then then men that I’ve dated are.”

11 Men aren’t interested in marathon sex.

“What I have noticed is that sex is much different. I don’t mean physically (of course it is), but the attitude/goal. For example, most men I’ve been with have been perfectly OK with like 90% of our sex being what amounts to a quicky. Five minutes is fine with most of the men I’ve been with most of the time.

With women it seems that it is more about the experience, and I’ve been with a couple women who very much enjoy marathon sessions (Not always, of course), and I’ve never been with a single guy who wants to go that long. Just my two cents.”

12 Being with a woman makes you feel more secure.

“I (female) find that being with women is a lot more secure in a way. My girlfriend and I aren’t scared to talk about the future, it wasn’t even an issue early on. Whereas when I’ve been with men in the past I daren’t talk about anything even a couple weeks in the future when things are just starting out, for fear of scaring them off. Then again, that might not be a difference between genders, more that my girlfriend is the one unlike other people I’ve been with. Oh and also, sex and stuff.”

13 Guys are WAY more clingy.

“In my personal experience, the men have been a lot more clingy than the women. I’m sure it’s more about the people I’ve dated, rather than the gender, but the men want to make it official almost immediately, while the women are more comfortable with the idea of not dating, but hooking up and it potentially leading somewhere.

The men are much more invested in the idea of “Is this a thing.” The last guy I hooked up with was my neighbor, and every time we hung out with other people, it was guaranteed he’d mention us hooking up and how much he liked me. It was like he was trying to mark his territory.

In comparison, unless we made some overt PDA, my current girlfriend and I just act like idiot schoolgirls. While it’s obvious that there’s something going on between us, there’s no real desire to show it to the world and as such we aren’t big on the PDA.

Since it’s not clear, I’m a guy.”

14 Ladies are grosser than guys.

“All of the girls I’ve dated have been WAY grosser than guys. I don’t mean like naturally gross, it’s more like when you get two girls together and there’s sex involved, they care a lot less about weird bodily functions and even kind of delight in sharing them. It’s pretty awesome and hilarious.”

15 Guys are gentler than girls.

“Female here. The thing that surprises me is how gentle guys are when they hold women. Whenever a boyfriend has held me it’s been so tenderly as if he’s afraid that his strength will scare or hurt me whereas women have been much less shy about firm hugs etc. I’ve always thought that was so beautiful, watching how a dude handles things in the world roughly/ firmly but when it’s me he’s acting like I’m something precious and fine.”

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