The latest costume news isn’t about trendy costumes or the sweetest treats: it’s about supposed “racial insensitivity” over Disney’s popular Moana character. Parents everywhere are outraged over the article published in a recent edition of Cosmo that says parents of children who are not Pacific Islanders like Moana’s character is should not dress their children in the costume because it’s culturally insensitive. Cue the eye rolls.
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The New Face of Racism. According to Cosmo, Moana is the new face of racism. At least, she is if you’re a white child who would like to dress up like the Pacific Islander for Halloween this season.
Offensive Children. In a recent edition of Cosmopolitan magazine, editors are claiming that children who dress up as the Disney Princess Moana (or rather, their parents who allow them to) are actually just showing their racial insensitivity.
Cultural Appropriation. The magazine states parents should take responsibility in teaching their children cultural appropriation by not allowing children of other races to dress up as Moana. “You’re the parent here, and the onus of what your child wears falls on you. If your kid wears a racist costume… you’re kind of wearing it too,” the article claims.
Disney. We are talking about a Disney princess here, right? You know, fictional character? Someone who is utterly incapable of feeling culturally offended by little tots dressing up like her for trick-or-treat. Yes?
White Privilege. The author of the article claims that children who wish to dress up as Moana (or other characters of a different race) are merely showing a glaring example of white privilege. D*** those white privileged children wanting to dress up like their favorite Disney characters who are anything other than white. White privileged kids just think they can be anybody for trick-or-treat, don’t they?
Pacific Islanders. Are we claiming then that all children should only dress in characters of their own color in order to be racially sensitive? Isn’t that, in fact, the very definition of racism? Hmm.
Racist A**holes. The article goes on to say, “If your Caucasian son or daughter doesn’t get to be exactly what they wanted for Halloween, encourage them to take a step back and realize that they’re awash in privileges that the real Moanas and Tianas of the world will likely never see, because the world is full of racist a**holes.” We’re pretty sure the biggest one wrote that article. It sounds more like someone wasn’t allowed to dress up as Cinderella when she was little and has harbored some seriously bitter feelings over the years.
More Offensive Tykes. If Moana is offensive for anyone other than Pacific Islanders, then surely there are other offensive costumes, right? Let’s be conscious of our insensitive actions, people. The cat lady down the street was surely offended by this tyke’s costume. Shame on her parents for being so insensitive.
Sesame Street on Strike. The Sesame Street characters are surely on strike after this adorable squishy face dressed as Cookie Monster. Monsters unions are up in arms over the insensitivity of a non-monster dressing up as a monster.
Leprechauns Unite. This is just blasphemy. I mean, is this kid even Irish? Some parents are so insensitive.
Plumbers Union. This is a double whammy! These kids are clearly not old enough to be plumbers and the jury is still out on whether or not they’re Italian. Mario and Luigi would be furious. If they were real. We’re sure of it.
Hells Angels Are Not Amused. No way. This is just way too offensive. Bikers around the world are crying in their beers over the sheer offensiveness of this tot. (Just kidding, this is freaking hilarious, but play along).
Granny Grief. Grannies everywhere are just in arms over the outrageous insensitivity. How dare a youngin’ dress up like a little old lady? I mean, the audacity and cultural insensitivity of it all is just too much.
Orange Faces Too. Is no one safe from cultural insensitivity? White privilege even thinks it can be an orange faced oompa loompa. Shame. Trump is highly offended, watch for his Tweets later. We’re sure of it. How insensitive.
Not Even Animals Are Safe? Clearly parents just have no moral fiber left. They have the audacity to let their children offend every mix of fictional character regardless of color. Imagine the audacity of teaching children to see the character instead of the color. Shame on you parents. How offensive.