No child should have to grow up without their family. But what’s worse is when a helpless kid is dumped by their own parents who failed to take care of them. One such similar case happened with a Redditor who explains that they are an adopted child after they were “unceremoniously dumped” by their parents. This happened after their sister got really sick and the parents gave up their responsibilities in a jiffy. Now, years later when they came face to face with their birth-givers, they refused to recognize them. But they are asking the Internet if they’re the “a**hole” for pretending to not recognize their parent.
The adopted child writes, “I was raised mostly by my uncle and aunt. My older sister developed a serious illness when I was 6 and my parents decided that they couldn’t care for both of us I guess, so they kind of unceremoniously dumped me at my grandparents and my uncle took me in. Like, didn’t even explain to me what was going on, just “you’re going to go visit gran for awhile” and never picked me back up. My grandparents and uncle explained it later, and they were pretty livid at my parents. I’ve seen my parents maybe 5 times since then and not at all for the last 9 years.”
Adopted child explains the wedge between his parents
The adopted child explains, “I decided to stop having contact with them when I was 12 and since I was the only one reaching out all communication broke down. It turned out ok, I love my aunt and uncle and it turns out they can’t have kids so they’ve always said I’m their miracle kid, I was just misrouted by the stork at first. I was formally adopted by them when I turned 18, I wish it had been earlier but there were some red tape things that would have made that really expensive and difficult. I’m 21 now.”
The Redditor goes on, “My sister passed away between thanksgiving and Christmas and I made a trip back from school for the funeral, but I stayed in the back and left before my bio parents could talk to me. They called my uncle to try to talk to me, but I said I didn’t want to so he told them that I wasn’t available at the moment. They finally caught up to me over Christmas when I went to midnight mass with my gran, and approached me and tried to give me a hug.”
Adopted child explains why he pretended not recognizing parents
The post further reads, “I did recognize them, but I pretended not to and just backed off and said “Sorry, do I know you?” They said “We’re your parents!” and I said “My parents are at home.” and went and sat down with my gran. They sat behind us and I could just feel the stare, and on the way out they were like “You really don’t recognize us?” And I said “Oh, are you my dad’s brother? I think I remember you from when I was little.”
The post concludes, “My gran thinks they deserved it trying to come back to me like nothing happened, but they wrote me a long letter about how hurt they are and how I should understand that they were trying to do the right thing and how they’ll always be my parents and I can’t change that. Other family members think I was too harsh as they’re grieving, but I don’t think they should get a pass just because they remembered me now that my sister is gone.”
People tell Redditor he is not being harsh on himself
One user said:
Yeah their line of “we’ll always be you parents and you can’t change that” well actually you can with this piece of paper. OP handled this perfectly NTA
Another Redditor said:
OP can’t change the egg and sperm donor part, but emotionally they lost that right to be identified as parents years ago,
One user wrote:
OP dropped their 👑, if they’re having to ask. The part I really want to know is: this is a church service. How many of the kindly church ladies “couldn’t help but overhear.” (I’m personally hoping “all of them.”)
Another user said:
Sh*ts reverberating through the congregation like a stone hitting a still pond.
