The last couple of generations is blamed for having fewer kids than ever. It is a luxury that many cannot afford. For example, take care of your child. The cost for a professional nanny is $650 per week. Only one perfectly healthy child will get that. Why do so many parents choose to employ their relatives? They can save their careers, and have a family member look after the little ones. If it weren’t for the fact that most of them see it as a favor rather than an honest-to-goodness job, everything would be fine.
Things didn’t go as planned when this 18-year-old babysitter decided to speak up about reimbursement with her aunt and uncle. She decided to seek perspective from the ‘Am I The [Jerk]‘ community after being called “entitled” and “selfish” for charging her family for looking after her cousins.
Being a babysitter is physically and emotionally taxing, even when you have to look after your cousins.
This is the 18-Year-Old. She didn’t expect a family feud when she spoke up about being paid for her help.
There are two conflicting facts that explain each other perfectly. Quality babysitters are hard to find, according to 70% of parents. We wonder why half of them are not paid.
We reached out to the lead editor of Nanny Magazine, who has 25 years of experience under her belt, to learn more about the challenges that nannies and babysitters face in their noble profession.
Conover suggests having the talk first before accepting a babysitting job. “Before leaving anyone with your children, it’s essential to establish qualifications, boundaries and expectations. And that includes having conversations surrounding pay,” Conover explained. She thinks that part of the problem of nannies and babysitters being paid little.
More often than not, an employer will not give you a huge jump in compensation at once to catch you up to where required. You don’t want to cause unnecessary drama or put the relationship with your clients- parents in jeopardy. If you are a qualified nanny or babysitter, Conover doesn’t mind if you speak up before the ship sails.
“While caring for your niece or nephew once in a while is part of the role, providing ongoing care is a totally different story,” she told. Conover suggests looking through local social media pages to find out the rates of babysitting in your area. “You’ll want to consider the duties, responsibilities, and caregiver qualifications when setting your babysitting rate.”
People agree that the author is not being unreasonable.
Similar to Conover. Susan Scheftel, a psychologist at the Columbia University Center for Psychoanalytic Training and Research, argues that most parents tend to depersonalize nanny’s role as a member of the family and that’s what inspired her to pursue her award-winning ‘Why Aren’t We Curious about Nannies?’ paper.
“There’s something about nannies occupying a blank space in parents’ mind where they don’t want to think about it,” Scheftel told. “Don’t want to think about the fact that they’d like to outsource their children’s care to somebody else who might create a better bond with their child while they’re out at work.”
According to Scheftel, fewer and fewer parents choose to hire relatives as babysitters. While there is no need to do a background check on your niece, relatives as babysitters can be a double-edged sword. “If there are any issues you have with your relative who’s going to take care of your children, it might amplify them,” Scheftel explained. In that sense, if the relative-babysitter has had a distant or unhealthy relationship with their own mother or father, “those struggles are likely going to be played out when taking care of the children.”
Conover also reminds us that “nannies are caregivers by nature and often find themselves neglecting their own needs in service to others.” They have little to no days off and work long hours. They remain silent when they start to suffer from burning out being on all the time. “Having conversations with parents around burnout prior to getting there can help to ensure a supportive work environment and help parents understand how and why things like job creep, extended hours, and lack of downtime can contribute to nanny burnout.”
Conover suggests moving on and finding a family that won’t treat you like a substitute for your parents while they’re away. If Mary Poppins needs to set boundaries and take time off to rest, no real-life nanny should allow being mistreated.
