A woman who is a single mother and receives government assistance disclosed that being on welfare has made it difficult for her to find love; some of her dates have even called her a “parasite.”
Endocarditis is a very rare infection of the lining of the heart. Lynn McDermott, 48, from Southampton, Hampshire, was the first person to be diagnosed with it five years ago.
The young single mother had a procedure to replace a valve on Christmas Day 2017, and she was in a coma until June of the next year.
Lynn has been sick with rheumatoid arthritis and immunocompromised conditions since then. This means that her body can’t fight off diseases and infections on its own.
As a result, the mother, who used to work in sales, can now get help with money in the form of Universal Credit, Personal Independence Payment, and Employment and Support Allowance, which add up to about £21,000 a year.
Lynn has spent some time over the past few years trying to find love on online dating sites like Plenty of Fish and eHarmony.
Lynn claims that the tone of the conversation immediately changes for the worse whenever anyone brings up the subject of employment.
She explained:
One guy told me I was a parasite. He said, ‘You can walk and talk, why can’t you work?’
I’m not financially able to take people out, but most of the men are divorcees who seem to think I’m after their money.
I’m not looking for any kind of handout in any way, I’m looking for love and that’s all I want. I just want to be loved and to love someone else.
Her children who are now adults and have moved out on their own, claim that her chronic illnesses have rendered her “undateable.”
My disability is that I’ve got heart failure but you’d never know it to look at me.
I’m put down as disabled and unable to work because of my disability – but no one would know this because I don’t have a leg chopped off or anything and I just carry on with my life.
I had a PIP assessment and the paperwork with me with the issues I have – the heart failure and everything will not get better.
Lynn claims that she is questioned about her income when users sign up for the websites for the first time, and she says that she initially received “loads of replies.”
She said:
I last went on Plenty of Fish six weeks ago and had 354 replies from people – they obviously like the look but they just don’t appreciate that I’m disabled and on benefits.
I went out on a date with two of them and the first words are, ‘Are you a divorcee?’ and, ‘Do you own your own home?’
A guy I recently dated asked on the second proper date about finances.
I said, ‘What’s that got to do with anything?’. He said he didn’t want someone sucking all his money away because he was loaded.
The pound signs should not be about anything, it should be about what the person is like on the inside, not a disability or that they’re ‘sucking the life out of Britain’
Lynn says that she has been able to connect with a few of her dates, but the fact is that they couldn’t get past the fact that she is currently broke.
She added:
I’ve had a couple of people say, ‘Yes, everything you’re saying is right – but it’s still not for me and I can accept that’
What I don’t accept is that I’m undatable because I’m on benefits and people on benefits are no one, they’re scum. For me, I don’t know where this hatred of benefits comes from.
Every man I question says it’s about what I can offer them rather than what they can offer me and they don’t want someone who doesn’t have the ability to take them out.
I can still go out for dinners, drive, everything – financially I just cut my costs to whatever I’m going through.
All I want is trust, reliability, for them to love me as much as I love them – it just shows they’re so uneducated and judgemental.
A strong woman behind a strong man can only be a positive. It doesn’t matter if they have pounds in the bank. If people want to judge me without knowing me, that’s their failure.
