People want to feel accepted and they want to feel loved regardless of their flaws. But finding a person you love and can be yourself with is basically hitting the relationship jackpot.
Sometimes, you get to see all the little things that make you realize how amazing your SO is. Until those small details reveal a side of them you didn’t know even existed.
To know the dark side that people have learned about their better half, TheDuskDragon asked fellow married Redditors, “What is the creepiest thing your spouse has ever done?” hundreds of responses flooded in, each more unexpected than the last one.
If you’re feeling up to it, be sure to share your own unsettling stories in the comment section below.
1.
My wife speaks in a different language in her sleep. A completely formed language, with repeating words, clear articulation, sentence formation and proper cadence – but not of this world. She says that her parents told her she’s been doing this since she learned to talk. She even responds to questions in her sleep… in the other language.
2.
My wife suffers from very vivid dreams/nightmares.
One night, very late, she was dead asleep while I was reading in bed next to her. Snoring away gently, I’m perusing the newest collection of Stephen King stories.
In a blink of an eye, she goes from lying on her side to sitting up straight in bed, while making a noise of “nnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuueeeeeeeeeeAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!”
She sat there panting for a few seconds, then looked over at my terrified face.
“What?” she said.
I was only able to speak once my balls had descended from out of my chest and my butthole had unpuckered from being the size of a printed period.
3.
My wife will hide for quite a while to scare the s**t out of me; I mean 10-20 minutes to catch me off guard. For awhile it happened when I got out of the shower.
It got so bad that I would creep out of the shower and look for her all over the house in nothing but a towel and a judo pose. There were a few times I searched all over the house only to find out she had left to go shopping.
Edit: Thanks for the upvotes! I’m glad to see I’m not alone in this…
4.
My wife has muttered in her sleep before. Nothing very intelligible. But one night about a year ago I came in after she was already asleep, and started getting undressed.
“Hi honey!” she says in the cheeriest, most awake voice you can imagine. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t faintly hoped, at this point, that I might be about to get lucky.
“Hi? What are you still doing awake? It’s after midnight.”
No answer. I put on my pajamas.
“Honey?” she says, as if to get my attention.
“Yeah?”
“You’re gonna burn…”
I slept with one eye open that night. She did not remember in the morning.
5.
I woke up around 3AM after having a nightmare about a ghost. I woke my SO for comfort, but he turned to me and said, totally serious, “there are no such things as ghosts, just giant mothmen that take you away while you’re sleeping.” He remembered nothing the next morning.
6.
My girlfriend is incredibly talkative in her sleep. She usually says funny s**t like “tell that jalapeño to put some pants on!” But sometimes the stuff she does gets pretty creepy. One time I was on my iPad and she started laughing in this really thin, stiff, creepy horror movie kind of way and then jolted up (still fully asleep). She proceeded to look around the room pointing and laughing at things in the same creepy way. I could see her actually moving her head seeing something new each time. Then I asked her (since she is very awake in a lucid dream state) what she is laughing at…she says “all the little kids in the room are laughing at me.” Typing it out it doesn’t sound that creepy but I was so freaked out I jumped up and bolted to turn on the lights. Didn’t sleep that well that night.
7.
My husband and I used to own Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock standups. Sometimes when he was in the shower, I would take the standup and quietly set it outside the shower curtain, so that when he opened it BAM there Mr. Spock would be. Kirk, being the creeper that he is, often stood over my husband while he slept, and hubby would wake up to Kirk’s happy smirking mug right above him.
Man, I’m lucky to be married. I’m way too weird for my own good.
8.
It seems like every time we get into a huge fight and I start crying he gets a boner.
9.
I tend to talk in my sleep, and one morning my husband woke me up to tell me that in the middle of the night I had very clearly said, “they’re in the next room…lets kill them.” I guess I’m the creepy one.
10.
One night my spouse got up to get water just as I was starting to fall asleep. When she came back in the room she crawled around the bed to my side, and licked my hand, which was dangling over the edge of the bed. I woke up thinking a dog was in the room, saw her crouching down there and jumped out of the bed. I couldn’t even speak for a minute because of how much it scared me, and she just rolled around on the floor laughing hysterically.
11.
Before we started dating, my wife stalked me. Once, she called me at 1:00AM, saying that she just happened to be on my street and found a lost dog, knowing full damned well that I have a soft spot for strays. When I came outside, she said the dog ran away, and we spent the next two hours trying to track it down. I’m starting to think that there was never a dog.
12.
My husband will do this thing where he gets naked and bends his knees and elbows and kind of shuffles toward me, rocking his pelvis and wiggling his fingers. It’s the creepiest thing ever and he likes to chase me around the house doing it. The more I scream the more he does it. I don’t think it would be as creepy if he had clothes on and his balls were in check.
13.
She’ll gaze deep into my deep blue eyes and say how much she loves them…
Then quietly adds “I’m gunna cut them out and keep them when you die”
14.
My wife will sometimes mumble or talk very incoherently in her sleep. Usually it’s more or less gibberish and can even be cute. BUT, one night about a year ago, I kinda half woke up in the middle of the night and rolled over and found my wife on her side facing away from me. I, of course, took this as a perfect opportunity to spoon. I scooted over behind her and just as I put my arm around her she shrugged me off, almost instinctively. So not think much of it, I waited for a second and tried again. Slightly re-positioning myself I went to scoop her up again, this time however, she didn’t simply shrug me off. Nope, this time, just as I made contact with her, she threw my arm off as she sat up, turned to me wide eyed, and said in an almost demonic voice, “DON’T YOU F**KING TOUCH ME!” Then she immediately rolled back onto her side motionless. Nearly sh**ting myself I pretty much vaulted to the opposite edge of the bed where I stayed the rest of the night.
The best part? The next morning I awoke in a near panic to her trying to spoon me. Asking as to why I was so squirmy, I told her what had happened during the night. She began to laugh hysterically saying she doesn’t remember. To this day, I always poke her before I try to cuddle during the night.
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18.
She likes to hide under our bed when we are about to go to sleep. And when I stand right next to the bed she would grab my ankle and scare the s**t out of me, followed by an evil laughter and a face full of satisfaction for scaring me.
19.
Stood up every doll our girls own, in the kitchen on the counter, during the night…knowing full well I always get up for a glass of water. flipped on the lights, had a panic attack, and had doll nightmares for months
20.
Not ‘the’ creepiest, but still creeps me out. He has super long toes. He can grab things with them. Anyways, we are sitting down, watching tv, and he puts his leg next to mine and grabs my toes with his toes and say ‘Wanna hold toes?’ No, no I do not! I hate feet
21.
My wife has long dark hair. She likes to hang it over her face like the girl from the Grudge/The Ring and lean on the outside of the bathroom door when I’m in there taking a shower. She usually sits down on the floor and waits. I’ll open the bathroom door and she’ll crumple in like a corpse without making any noise. So I’ll see some movement out of the bottom corner of my eye, then my brain will kick in and think something is attacking my feet, then I’ll scream like a crazy man and she’ll die laughing on the floor. Then I’ll be paranoid for a month or two, then she’ll do it 10 months later when my guard is completely down.
22.
My wife occasionally tries to make visual contact with my butthole. She’s never made any kind of sexual advance in that sense. Just every once in a while I’ll catch her sneaking up on me when I’m naked or changing with this goofy look on her face. I’m sure she only does this because I act super self-conscious of my butt area. Usually I’ll notice her and run away giggling.
She’s yet to be able to confirm visually whether or not I actually have a butthole, which I guess means I’m winning.
23.
My husband found an app for our pc webcam that allowed him to stream to an ancient flip phone of his. He proceeded to compliment my shirt, ask me why I changed, how my sandwich tasted…it went on for hours. I started freaking out and thought someone stole his phone and was watching me.
I’d try to call him and he’d refuse to answer the call, or he would pick it up and breathe heavily. It wasn’t until I was on the verge of tears that he decided to call me and explain.
I could have killed the man.
24.
I had a boyfriend that was very controlling. After arguing with me or yelling at me he usually wanted to have sex a short time later to “make up”. Cool, except he just got done screaming at me for visiting my sister without his permission or something similarly crazy.. I would refuse and he would sit as close to me as possible and start masturbating. If I ignored him, he would start making noise, or if I told him to stop, he would yell some more. .. Yeah.. don’t know why I put up with that s**t.
25.
My hair is kind of long and when I brush it, it creates hairballs. I normally just throw them away ASAP but one time I was running late and just left it in the brush. When I got home, my SO was playing with it. I came over to grab it and he refused saying he felt sad throwing it in the trash as it was my hair. He kept it for a few days before he forgot about it so I threw it out.
26.
27.
This is a story from me, but of one of my good friends. Apparently, the wife was working on her laptop after a long day and was obviously getting frustrated. The husband wanted to cheer her up and maybe get a little love in return. So, he went up behind her and massaging her shoulders. THEN, he leaned forward and whispered into her ear (whilst using his best sexy voice) “I saw my dad do this to my mom once…” A few seconds of unbearable silence passed and then “that was weird wasn’t it”
28.
My wife has problems sleeping and tends to talk (mumble) in her sleep. The worst, however, is when she sits bolt upright screaming. This happens once or twice a year. I’ve also woken up to her kneeling on her pillow, batting at something on the wall, and making frustrated sounds.
29.
Not married but one of my female friends is about 6’8. One day I was using her shower and had my eyes closed as I was washing my hair. When I opened my eyes I saw a face looking down at me over the shower. It scared the living s**t out of me. I screamed, and slipped, landing on my ass. As I curled into a ball and started crying, I heard her laughing like a maniac. I’m not sure why, but it was horrifying. If she would’ve peeked through the curtains, I don’t think I would’ve been as scared.
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31.
My wife waits at the bathroom door in silence when I’m s***ting and when I open the door she gets on her hands and knees and barks like a dog. Scares the s**t out of me everytime.
32.
33.
My husband likes to take pictures of my sleeping if I fall asleep watching tv on the couch. Bonus points if he catches me drooling.
34.
One night I brought Perfume, lotion, small things to keep at his place. I went to place them on his dresser, where I found a good size ball of my own hair.
35.
