There is no way a human can enter this crazy wide world with a formed personality. There is a part that plays a role in how we go about our lives, but most of the other half is related to our upbringing.
It is difficult to determine what good and bad parenting styles are like, but some of us did not develop a close relationship with our parents.
When someone asked what screams ‘You weren’t loved by your parents as a child‘ without saying it, it was destined to stir a thread of thoughtful responses. Below are some of the most interesting ones, so scroll down and share if you agree with them or not.
1.
I was going to say it. I apologized to my stepmom for breathing loud, for not being in a room when she suddenly decided she wanted to tell me something, and for needing to eat and sleep.
People would laugh at how they could say ‘hey, come here!’. I would apologize the moment I got there. It was a survival mechanism.
2.
I have an exaggerated personality because of how bad my social anxiety is. You have a carefully calculated facade because you think everyone is judging you, you are easy to talk to and friendly, and you seem like a weird kid. Also, you try to be funny and likable so that people will like you, you get home and are drained because you really don’t have a social battery but force yourself to have one because that’s what your personality calls for. You are funny but really every move is carefully calculated.
Susan Petang, a certified life coach from “The Quiet Zone Coaching,” was reached out to find out how our upbringing affects us later in life.
“The relationship we have with our parents is super important,” Susan stated and continued: “When we’re children, the adults in our lives are our role models. They show us what it’s like to be mothers and fathers, wives and husbands, and how to handle problems, stress, and difficulty.” She said that we emulate their behavior, even if we don’t realize it.
3.
You don’t miss them. At all.
4.
Two of my girlfriends were able to cry silently. Not just a few tears, but full ugly, balling your eyes out crying, with absolutely zero noise.
I knew about her past the first time, but I wasn’t aware of the second one. She didn’t talk about her past but she did say that she had a good childhood. It sent chills down my spine when I saw it.
I learned more about her childhood when I asked her about it after the flood gates opened.
5.
No self-loving.
Being able to identify people by their footsteps, the sound of their car outside, how they move around the house, etc.
Susan warned that lack of attention and affection can cause emotional problems later in life. “Lack of self-esteem and the inability to communicate, resolve problems, and manage stress are just some of the problems that can result.”It’s important to understand that what “we observe as children guide our behavior later in life,” Susan said.
“If our parents didn’t get along with others, we probably won’t, either; if the adults in our lives were distant, remote, critical, or negative, the chances are high that we’ll do the same.”
6.
Apologizing constantly for existing.
7.
Not being able to prove something. No one taught you how to be confident.
Poor decision-making.
Attachments are insecure.
8.
Being shocked when a kid says how much they love their parent and how much they mean to them, the parent is loving and affectionate.
“It’s also possible that we’ll become the extreme opposite of our parents. For example, a girl who has an emotionally unavailable mom might decide that she’s not going to be like her mother—and might end up being used and taken advantage of emotionally, instead.”
Susan assured us that it doesn’t mean that you’re doomed to a miserable life if your parents aren’t warm and fuzzy. “Even if your childhood role models were poor, it’s still possible to learn how to have healthy relationships and positive behavior,” the life coach concluded.
9.
My special talent is breaking into full-on hysterics in total silence with my bedroom open and then less than 2 minutes later, walk out of my room and nobody has a clue I just had a breakdown.
You just get used to it and forget it’s not normal because I cried myself to sleep most of my 26 years.
10.
There is a constant need for approval by an authority figure. For example, trying to constantly please your history teacher that kind of reminds you of your dad, so every time he grades you well you feel like you accomplished something, even though he’s just your teacher, not your dad, he won’t listen to your problems or be present. He’s just looking at the tests.
11.
It is never enough to have a huge void in your life where no matter how much love you receive, it is never enough.
I have heard.
12.
Trouble asking for basic needs.
13.
Difficulty trusting others.
14.
Spending every moment of your waking life, all 20 hours a day of it, overanalyzing everything and everyone for that exact moment they are going to snap and lashes out at you.
15.
They can’t mention an achievement if they make a mistake.
Your family sees you as a joke.
They would use your funeral as an excuse to humiliate you even more in front of people who actually cared.
16.
When your phone rings with your parents’ name on it, you have an anxiety attack.
17.
When someone yells or gets mad at me, I have to close everything out.
18.
You feel like everyone has a problem with you even if you don’t believe it. At times I feel that my roommates hate me, but they are some of my best friends. I know they don’t, but when I wake up I think my friends hate me. I try to get them to be like me by buying them food or surprising them with things I know they’ll like and I tend to believe that everyone I meet hates me, even though it eats away at me. Also, I need to be reassured that people are not mad at me, it’s a terrible feeling.
